CFS-L Group Guidelines

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A foremost rule of netiquette throughout the entire Internet is to never publicly post a private message from someone unless you have first obtained permission from the author. It is advisable to gain the author's permission before making any use of a message other than quoting it within the same group where it was posted.

The following are general guidelines that will help our group to be more supportive and effective. These guidelines are intended to complement the rules of this group. A copy of the official rules can be obtained by following the instructions at the end of this message.

* Please respect the spirit of this group: mutual support; positive discussion that attempts to lead others into better understanding; respect for fellow participants.

* Educate others in a reasoned, calm way about why the *idea* you are discussing is valuable; respond to the issue, NOT the person.

When considering a response to any message, PLEASE remember the following:

* We are all human beings, and thus fallible.

* All of us should be viewed as well-intentioned human beings *unless and until* shown otherwise.

* The great majority of us are ill and are thus subject to additional stress and confusion through no fault of our own. Please remember that this illness:

- makes us more irritable, for physiological reasons

- can make for misunderstandings because of cognitive dysfunction (that is, "brain fog")

- puts most of us under additional life pressures because of lack of support from doctors, employers, friends, etc.

When we are troubled by reading a message that makes an offensive or false claim, our response should be tempered by the understanding that the other person may well have *made a mistake*. OR, maybe we have erred in understanding what is being said.

So PLEASE resist the great temptation to respond in kind when you may read a post that is disagreeable in tone or substance. Sometimes it will be better for the whole group if we walk away from a confrontation. If a situation is really bothersome, it will help to discuss it privately with a friend. If you do see an inflammatory post, please forward that entire message privately to this group's moderators at e-mail address CFS-L-REQUEST@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU.

Also, please remember that:

- all of our Moderators are unpaid volunteers who are members of this group

- our Moderators therefore deserve the same respect, and protections against flaming, and the "presumption of innocence", as all other members of this group

- the volunteer Moderators have a life of their own outside of this group; they will *try* to deal with the many matters referred to them promptly, but they may well not be able to do so; please be patient with them

Things to avoid:
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- posts that are angry, insulting, accusatory, intemperate or threatening

- attacks on the character and integrity of other group members

- asking questions which assume guilt ("how often do you beat your wife?")

- misleading distortions which may harm the person addressed

Things to pursue:
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- apologize for your own errors and the harm they may have caused. To do so is not an admission of evil intentions; it is a matter of courtesy between fallible human beings.

- last but far from least: DO send messages of support, love, and information. We all need them!

To get a copy of the official rules, send an e-mail message that says GET CFS-L RULES to LISTSERV@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU . For assistance, write to CFS-L-REQUEST@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU.

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